Firewalls Don't Work!
by drehmelwithwings
Summary: A college girls life is turned upside down when she orders a set of 'Units' from a pop-up just to find out the act like real characters fron the anime Hetalia: Axis Powers!
1. maple syrup and sob stories

_**Hello fan fictioners! This is Drehmelwithwings calling on all you HETALIA: AXIS POWERS fans for feed back on my latest work of craziness. I hate the process of having people beta test my shit so i had a small select group of friends who could go through my story relatively quickly, beta this. **_

_**I have high hopes from this story and have several real life beta testers names listed in here. I really would like to thank LolliDictator for creating the manual fics this story is based off of.**_

Okay, you know how firewalls are supposed to keep out those damn annoying pop-up ads? I was currently dealing with one ad that really seemed to hate me. "Just go away you stupid ad!" I yelled at my laptop before three words caught my eye, 'free', 'units', 'Hetalia'. I hit the ad and it took me to a website. I filled in my information and grumbled about how stupid I felt for this as I hit enter. The screen popped up a small box saying my first unit would arrive in 1-3 business days. Great. I then chose to put my head down for a couple minutes rest.

When I awoke it was to the sound of loud knocking. "Geez, calm down I'm coming!" I yelled through my all too quiet home. It's supposed to be quiet in your house when you're in college, right? Anyways, I lived alone as of right now because my college didn't actually assign me a roommate. I was supposed to receive one but they goofed up and I ended up in the biggest house on campus without anyone there to keep me relatively sane. Now honestly I missed having people running around the house but the quiet did have its advantages. So, I got the next best thing, a cat.

"Hey, there you are Alice!" I said as my orange black kitty hopped up on to my shoulders. I slid open the door to the front porch. I'd been given a grant to remodel and decided on Japanese sliding doors. They totally rocked. I couldn't believe what I saw when slid the door open. "Excuse me is this Miss Drehmel's home?"

The guy I was looking at stood only a bit taller than me with dark black hair and a bright green uniform. "S-S-S-Sam? Is that you Sam?"

"Do I know you?"

"It's me, Megan Drehmel, from high school."

"Wow, honestly didn't recognize you, you've changed so much." He mumbled quietly.

"You too, I mean I didn't know you worked in delivery…" I was stopped dead holding back giggles by the logo on his shirt. "Let alone for Flying Mint Bunny Express. Does it pay well?"

"I guess so, it pays the bills…" I looked at the large wooden crate next to Sam.

"Oh boy where to put that thing? This ought to be fun!"

"So, let's get this box inside and I'll be on my way out."

"Okay, how about we set this in the living room?"

"Fine by me."

So after Sam left, I stared down the box as if waiting for it to bust open by itself. It didn't. I grabbed the manual on the couch.

**Matthew Williams**

User's manual

Great, at least he was relatively sane as opposed to like Ivan Braginski. I mean I've seen the series, and man that guy was extremely creepy, beyond normal creepy. Plus I was two months from twenty-one which means he'd be an alcoholics anonymous member by the time I was able to buy the vodka he ran off of. Besides, vodka was **not **cheap! Maple syrup, sure that was easy to get, Russian vodka, not so much. I smiled at the large box, thinking about his character. His character was quiet, sweet but almost invisible. Poor guy didn't have a lot of friends but he did have a small polar bear named Kumajiro, I think.

I decided that because I had the option I would play Lady Gaga. This was bound to have one hell of a response! I played Love game really loud and immediately I heard,

"ALFRED, I'M NOT DATING LADY GAGA!"

Pffft! "Okay, let's get one thing straight, I sing WAY better than Lady Gaga!"

"Alfred, are you out there, it seems like I'm stuck in this box thing..." I heard a small whimper from the crate. Guess I should let him out… I grabbed my spare crow bar from behind the couch. Why I had a crowbar behind my couch is not what the damn story is about, but if anyone has to know it makes me feel safe! I put in enough force to send the small padlock clattering to the ground. I then proceeded to pull the front of the crate off. Inside I saw a 19 year old guy curled up on the bottom of the box. He looked up at me and gave me a half-smile.

"So, I hear you're not dating Lady Gaga."

"Nope, I'm definitely not…"

"Good I mean have you seen the things that woman turns into outfits? Absolutely ridiculous!"

"Yeah, and I thought I was the only one who wasn't blind to her insanity!"

Well, this was off to a good start! I'd better find him a place to sleep though…

"Grab your stuff and I'll find you a place to sleep."

I cleared out an old room upstairs that already had a bed and some old furniture. Matthew only smiled and offered to help if there was anything that was really big, or heavy. When I finally got the room cleared I made the bed for him with my favorite down comforter. It was really fluffy and I'd stitched little red maple leaves in it.

"Wow, so this is my room?"

"Yes, Matthew this is your room. Do you like it?"

"Yeah it's really nice, but I think I like the blankets in here most…"

"Why do you like the blankets most Matthew?"

"I like the maple leaves on the top blanket…"

Oh, that explains it… *Cough*idiot*Cough*

After my little face palm moment I decided to let Matthew get some rest. So I went downstairs and started channel flipping on the TV. I ended up hooked on some show about the British rule over Canada. It was about how after the Seven Years' War the Treaty of Paris submitted all North American land owned by the French was then under British rule, except for Louisiana which belonged to Spain. I felt bad for Canada and France, England was just a big bully! I felt bad for the blond teen in my spare room. To not have much of a choice on where he should be and who he wanted to stay with, he must have had a screwed up childhood.

Just then Matthew walked in to see me crying on the couch. "Are you okay, Miss?"

"Yeah I'm fine; I just was watching a sad movie."

He sat next to me and lightly pulled my face towards his using his thumb to wipe my tears away. "What's wrong, I can't help you if you don't tell me, eh." His words were calm and soft spoken.

Suddenly my house phone started ringing, saved by the bell!

"Hello, Drehmel residence, Megan speaking."

"Hello this is the most awesome guy who ever walked the earth, Trevor, calling miss totally un-awesome."

"Fuck you, Trevor, fuck you."

"Touché, Megan, touché."

"Why, call me? You can just talk to your boyfriend about your apparent awesomeness."

"Ow, wow hurtful… how long has it been since graduation? Three years, or was it two?"

"Three, Trevor it has been three long peace filled years."

"Well, I kind of wanted to visit so, what college are you in, who accepted you?"

"The Art Institute of Houston, Texas. I was so happy; I'm actually on a full ride scholarship as of right now."

"Sweet, what kind of living arrangements?"

"No roommates, but one hell of a big house."

"Want me to bring Katy and Alley?"

"Well, no duh, I mean I have such a quiet home it'd be awesome, to see them again and I certainly have enough room."

"Next week, how does that sound?"

"Sounds amazing bring some cheese please, because in Texas, there are no good cheese places."

"Fine by me, so, sure you don't have any roommates that would mind?"

"No roommates Trevor… but I do have a very nice Canadian transfer who would love some horseshoes* and maple syrup."

"A CANAIDIAN! ARE YOU SERIOUS, THAT'S AWESOME!"

"I'm hanging up Trevor."

"WAIT! CAN I TALK TO THE CANAI-"

I set the phone down on the table, sighing to myself and walking back out to be greeted by the sweet Canadian's bambi eyes.

"Who was that?" Dammed it all, I thought as my eyes caught his pleading eyes.

"An old friend who is coming to visit. He lives in Wisconsin, and we met each other in high school."

Way to keep quiet, Megan. Nice resolve!

"Okay and they are bringing maple syrup, right?"

"Yes they are Canada, yes they are."

"Great, I can make brownies and pancakes…"

"No brownies."

See if it hadn't been for the fact I like to read cover to cover on manuals I wouldn't have known that the quiet Canadian had a tendency to whip up fresh homemade hash brownies. Yeah, like I really want to get high, especially off a Canadian's brownies!

"So just pancakes are you sure?" he asked innocently.

"Sounds right, plus I had a big lunch and I need to head to class soon anyways so a quick batch of pancakes sounds just amazing!"

"I'll make them from scratch, and make sure they're the best you've ever eaten!"

I smiled and ran to my bedroom to change pulling on a layered blue dress with ruffles coming off the waistline, and long deep purple sleeves. As I walked in to the kitchen I saw Matthew making pancakes with a sweet smile on his face.

NEEDS REVIEWS!

P.S.

*Horseshoes are a special type of american doughnut made only in the small town of Cadott Wisconsin. More to the point that the reason they are so popular is because they have a special type of frosting that is truly amazing!

My mom works at the bakery where they sell them and for that specific reason i can't let anything slip about how they make the doughnuts, but i will write a prizefic for the reviewer that can tell me the frosting flavor!


	2. in comes the russian dun dun dun!

Chapter 2

In comes the Russian, dun dun DUN!

I woke up to knocking once again. It had been one week since Matthew had arrived and sanity had been restored to my hectic life. Trevor and company were running behind by about two, or three days. And I had no time for a new unit! I barely had Matthew out looking for a job! But there it was on my fricken door step! "Ivan Braginski… well this is bad… I better hide the vodka they sent with him." I grabbed the five bottles they had sent and pulled out my crowbar that I had recently spray painted hot pink. I then proceeded to hide the bottles in my room and crack down on the stupid lock with my crowbar. I the screamed at the top of my lungs, "Брат!" Almost instantly the box started shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. I popped the lid off to see a twenty-five year old Russian staring back at me. "You are not Natalya… привет I am Ivan."

"Привет I am Megan the owner of this home. Destroy anything with any significant value and you will regret it, да?"

"Да… where do I sleep?"

"I'll find you a room, but first things first do you have any age I.D.?"

"Нет. I do not, Megan, do I need one?"

"Yes, which will be a pain to get, but I guess worth it in the long shot."

Knock, knock. SHIT!

"Ivan, grab your box, go upstairs, got it?"

"Да."

He then proceeded to pick up both boxes and run upstairs.

I slid the door open and proceeded to make the second biggest mistake of my life.

"WHERE'S THE CANAIDIAN?" both Katy and Trevor yelled.

I screamed…well, what else did you expect?

"MATTHEW! RUN LIKE HELL, MAN, DON'T TURN AROUND, JUST RUN!"

Matthew ran past me and towards his room. Katy was following close behind with a short black streak behind her. So they brought Mellie? I heard a piercing scream that no doubt belonged to the poor Canadian… I ran around the corner to see Katy and Mellie, latched onto Matthew and said man being killed by an apparent love for… Justin Bieber?

"Katy don't kill him, he makes good pancakes!"

"Fine, I'll just pack him in my suitcase for Nebraska with Billy!"

"NO! He's MY Canadian; I can make him look like Justin Bieber!"

"NOT ON YOUR LIFE! JUSTIN BIEBER IS CUTE AND SHORT AND HUGGABLE. _Matthew is sweet and tall and the best cook I've ever met!_" Don't ever make the mistake of stereotyping Matthew in front of me, I get vicious.

"Sorry, I just think he'd fit better in my suitcase."

"I know he's from Canada but he's not just another Justin Bieber, okay?"

"Okay." They both answered in unison.

"I'll go clear out the rest of the rooms I set up for you upstairs, and Matthew can help you bring your stuff in from the vehicle."

I bolted up the stairs and saw Ivan standing in the hall. Oh, right, there's that issue too…

"Follow me Ivan, I'll get you a room to stay in."

"Спасибо, you are very kind, Да?"

"Да, it is no problem, can you help me move some crap from the end room?"

"Да, if you really need my help."

"Спасибо, Иван, вы так добры, чтобы помочь мне ... это ваш номер."

(Thank you Ivan, you are so kind to help me... this is your room.)

His smile brightened as he saw the sunflower colored room. It had a couple old fluffy blue blankets. I pulled some of my old boxes out of the room and threw them in my hall closet. Ivan smiled and set his boxes on the plush green carpet.

"Пожалуйста, спуститься вниз, когда вы закончите распаковки, у нас гости."

(Please come down when you're finished unpacking, we have guests.)

"Да."

I ran back downstairs to see everyone standing by Matthew as he was biting down into a…NO FREAKING WAY!

"Hey, is that a horseshoe?"

"Yep, your mom sent a whole box chock full of them!" Trevor replied.

Matthew smilied and took another bite, "These doughnuts are amazing what flavor are they?" '

"Cinamon sugar with maple frosting, Matthew..."

His eyes lit up and he took smaller bites savoring the taste.

"Well that answers one of my questions, Canaidians do like maple frosted doughnuts!" Trevor said with a proud look of accomplishment in his eyes.  
>i heard the sound of rather large footsteps on the stairs...<p>

**F-F-F-FFFF**

"Oh, and our newest transfer student arrived today from Russia, his name is Ivan Braginski."

**This was going to be two loooong weeks...**

_Drehmelwithwings:_

_Hello, everybody sorry for not updating in soooooo fricken long i have sooooo much going on but never fear cuz now i have crazy Russian man with alead pipe making me update!_

_**Russia: Да, now she will be updating all the time or i will get my pipe out.**_

_Me: oh f#!, Ivan i'm working, i'm working!_

**_Russia: Write faster i want to meet our new housemate soon!_**

_Me: well if i'm not dead i'll be updating very soon! So read and review!_


	3. Too damn early on a monday

_Hello this is Drehmelwithwings..._

_**GOD I feel like i dropped off the face of the earth...** anyway i haven't been updating because i really don't know who i should throw in next... Ivan wants Yao to show up but my quiet canadian friend wants Gilbert to appear._

_Think of it this way **Ivan molesting Yao**_

_or_

_**Gilbert molesting me...and Katy...and Mellie...and Trevor... Yeah...**_

_But never fear! i'm back and with a new unit too! Read and review and i might just be able to keep my sanity!(and vital regions!)  
><em>

Halfway through my quirky friends visit and two things have happend; first nobody has died or tried to assanate anyone on campus, second I got a new unit**_...At five o'clock in the flippin' __morning, _**_Did i mention i'm NOT a morning person._

_I_ struggled with by midnight blue sheets as i heard the telltale knocking of a certain flying mint bunny delivery service. DAMN, i thought i was going to get more sleep than that.

i groggily got up and walked down the hallway past Trevor's room and Matthew's room as well. I grunged down the stairs and through the living room to the door and threw said door open. grumbling about how much i hated monday mornings.

I was greet by an equally unhappy Sam who handed me a clipboard and tried to roll the box in. i stopped him. "put it out back, so i don't wake up anybody else." i'm sorry but Trevor was a bitch in the morning... nuff' said.

plus i had decided to turn the boxes into sunflower planter boxes, and Ivan declared that he'd take care of them, so YAY!

Sam rolled the unit outside to the barren backyard. he left as soon as he could and i wasn't gonna judge him for it, i look like hell in the mornings, plus he looked like he was pretty damn tired. I looked over the manual in the moomlight, '**CONGRATULATIONS! **You have just purchased your very own GILBERT BEIL' SHIT!

**DAMN PRUSSIANS!  
><strong>I'd rather not deal with peverts at five in the morning, couldn't i just ship him to... That's right! Prussia hates Ivan! OHONHONHON~! I'm sooo gonna have fun with this..., GENBEN specifications? It could be FEMALE?

i rummaged through the box of belongings just to find that yes it was a chick... well oh, great, now Trevor would have a fair shot at her. KALININGRAD..., lets hope not, meek, refuses beer, and is tolerant to being beat, poor thing...

Okay half-awake russian, " просыпаются сейчас Julchen иначе!"  
>' Wake up now Julchen or else!"<p>

the box shook and i could hear muffled sobs, damn Russian, why does it make everyone cry?

i opened the box to see a girl with long silver hair in a blue military ensemble.

"Thank GOD, your not Ivan!" she yelped pulling me into a hug.

"Shhh.. or you might wake him up! now here's how his is gonna go, i have friends from up north visiting so you can't just go around groping everyone. Ivan and Matthew live here too so you need to be nice to Matthew and AVOID Ivan at all costs, kay?"

"Sure...wanna to-"

"NO."

i heard her whimper and i smiled, never gonna happen chicka.

"grab your crap and i'll get you a room to sleep in."

"um."

god did i ever hate that wannabe word, "what?"

"i..um..well...i kin-nda wan-" i cut her off.

"I get it, thanks for tipping you off on the Ivan issue, no problem. personally I didn't want somebody to get raped if I could help it."

"How?"

"I'm a girl I understand way too much how you'd feel around Ivan, if I hadn't told you. I've had some pretty bad ex's and one of them almost raped me... so don't think your the only one. Oh, and if you tell anyone I said that i'll make sure you regret it, trust me on that one."

"Okay, um thanks?"

"No problem." I said as i showed her to an older room with deep emerald blankets on a fourposter king sized bed, it had deep maroon curtains on it as well.

"WOW, is this really my room?" she asked with heasitation in her voice.

"yeah, it is does it impress you or smething?"

"This room is Awesome!"

"i lay you out some of my old clothes, which reminds me you are not to ever run around naked okay?"

"Fine, but i can still be called Your Royal Awesomeness?"

"Okay, Your Royal Awesomeness, now get some sleep!" i answered walking out of the bedroom headed for my soft pillow and warm sheets.

how would i explain Prussia's arrival? at this point i was too tired to care.

_Chapter 3 done!_

_Prussia's a girl! _

_God this was the worst chapter ever!_

**_Prussia: what's sooo horible about it? I Mean you FINALLY got some AWESOMENESS into the story!_**

**_Me: now i have to deal with a large Russian man and an anoying Prussian CHICK!_**

**_Prussia: *Goes and sits in the emo corner*_**

**_Me: READ AND REVIEWS PEOPLE OR I LET IVAN 'Become one' WITH PRUSSIA!_**

**_Prussia: WhAt? NO FREAKIN' WAY!_**


	4. Of tables and Trevors

hello everyone as far as this story is concerned i **DO** plan on finishing it... but i have state testing and stuff to deal with so...

yeah i swear i ALMOST stopped writing this but i've decided to pick it back up thanks to a couple of good reviews and subscribers.

so props to my reviewers:

_**Bumblebeecamaro38**_

I did not actually plan for that at all... subliminal messaging LoLz... :D But now that you mention it i do believe i will continue on with it... Mwahaha!

_**DaughterofDemeter123**_

Thank-you! and yeah the 3rd chapter is pretty rough around the edges. but in my defense i wrote it while i was half awake!

_**.sisters**_

Hey thanks! i know a FEM!Prussia seems pretty bold but i have plans on how to get rid of her already! lolz, no but i felt bad about the Canadian thing because i figured that real Canadians aren't treated like that, i guess i was wrong... :D

**_conrad1998_**

Yep, i got what you were hinting at, and boy do i have plans for them!

**_demone blanco_**

YOU ROCK! THANK-YOU!

Now... on with the story... I do not own any thing BUT my ideas and i wish i owned a UNIT! that would be sooo cool!  
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<p>

i woke up in one, of what i had to say, of the worst ways. with a screaming prussian flinging my door open and hopping on my bed, just to shake me awake.

FFFFFF-

"Julchen... i'll give you three seconds to get off of me before i kill you... one.." i didn't even have to say two and she was on the floor next to the bed hiding.

"Russia is after me!" she whined. oh dear god... not today..

Ivan came running into my room and i decided it was time to release my inner bitchy morning person.

"IVAN BRAGINSKI! DON'T YOU DARE HURT Julchen! I AM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD THIS MORNING AND I REFUSE TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT! I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON FOR SEVERAL REASONS. SO BEING WOKEN UP BY A FREAKED OUT PRUSSIAN IS NOT A WAY TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH ME!", I started to lower my voice."Julchen go downstairs, get something to eat. Ivan, leave Julchen alone, do not even breath in her direction or face hell reicarnated in a woman's body." Julchen whimpered and fled the room quickly, while Ivan kol'd at me slightly, before swiftly turning around and marching out of my room.

i sighed then left the refuge of my soft blankets. i shivered as a slightly brisk wind passed through the house. opting for a slightly warmer sweatshirt from wisconsin.

as i left my room i headed for my only other refuge in my unit infested house, the kitchen.

when i entered the kitchen my brain went on shutdown mode... there on my new kitchen table (i just got that table) my best friend was making out with my newest unit.

"TREVOR DANIEL FOLEY! WHAT THE HELL!" i shouted alerting the rest of the household. "Um... its not what it looks like?"

"How the hell is it NOT what it looks like?"

"Okay, i'm not trying to feed you lines of bullshit, but i think i'm in love with her!" he protested. then i thought about it... if Julchen loves Trevor and she leaves with him...

"Okay, this totally creeps me out that you're doing this on MY table, but if i say you can take her home with you hold down on the 'action' for now?"

Julchen looked at me in suprise, "Really?"

I nodded.

"Are you sure Megan?" trevor asked quizically.

"Yeah, just spare my poor furinture."

- God, i haven't updated in forever... sorry for my readers...

i had testing AND dear lord three days of crappy tests is NOT fun.

At least i'm getting rid of that wimpy Prussian chick.

Julchen: Hey! It's Russia's fault!

i'm gonna stay out of that arguement... D:

READ AND REVIEW!


	5. the russian language fails me once again

Thanks for all the favs and reviews!

I love all my faithful and kind readers!

T_T thank you all so much!

A week without anything too insane...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!

Apparently in my house it is.

One minute I'm telling my guests of honor to get the F #% back to Wisconsin, the next I'm signing for a tall box of evil.

"Thanks Sam. I just got rid of the last one and they already sent another one to match." I grumbled as he wheeled it in.

"Sorry. I don't make them. I just deliver them." He said laughing.

"Yeah, I just don't enjoy this torture too much."

As I slid the door shut, Matthew laughed at me.

"He really needs a new job,eh? I mean all he's trying to do is flirt with you, and you don't even notice." He said and my head shot up.

"H-he, he's not flirting! He's just delivering units Matt! What makes you think he was flirting?" I flushed and quickly manuevered around the Canadian. Matt grabed my shoulder.

"I see the way he laughs and smiles at you. It may have been three years ago, but something big happened between you two." He said as if he was calculating some type of way coax the truth out of me.

I would be having none of that!

"Yao Wang. Thats China, right." I said pointing to the box.

"Your changing topics. Smooth... And yeah that's definitely China. Where's the manual?" Matt scolded me.

"Top of the box. And really, he does not hit on me. He's just being a delivery man. It's his job Matt." I said unhappily.

"Quit being humble, he was checking your ass out before he left." He said flipping through the manual.

"No way! Really!" I exclaimed blushing.

"You were to busy being cranky abou Yao arriving to notice."

"Oh my god... I feel so stupid! What am I going to... Yao likes Hello Kitty right? Oh! And pandas too! 'cause i went through that 'collect all the cute crap' phase when I little and I never got around to throwing any of that stuff into a garage sale box." I said and Canada smiled.

"Your brain is like a tone deaf hamster running a mile a minute on one of those little wheels."

"SHUT UP! And give me that!" I yelled swiping the user's manual. Flipping to the removal page I started skimming my options.

"Okay, I cannot speak Mandarin, and I don't want lessons on it from an angry chinese guy. I don't have any Japanese, Korean or Cantonese music on hand. And I hate speaking Russian! And being jumped by 110 pound chinese people!" I argued at the manual.

"Can't we just poke him?" Matthew asked and I shook my head.

"Not unless you want internal bleeding and a concussion to match."

"How 'bout you duck when I open the lid, _**after,**_you invite him out in Russian?"

"Best suggestion yet."

So after twenty minutes, (I wanted lunch dammit!) I stood up next to the box.

"Привет! Г-н Ван Яо, не могли бы вы вышли?"

(Hello! Mr. Wang Yao, could you come out?)

Nothing. How rude!

"Now Matt!" I whispered from my hiding spot behind the couch.

Matt yanked the lid and got down next to me.

The results of 3 months of Russian were instantaneous... and catastrophic.

"你在哪里？你这个该死的俄罗斯!"

(Where are you?Damn you Russian!)

"HEY!" I yelled as my favorite vintage Japanese cloth doll was plucked from it's shelf. He just about dropped her in suprise.

"Put my Hanako-chan down right now!" I yelled and he lightly set Hana-chan back on the shelf.

"Good! Now about where you are... Well to put it plainly you'll be staying with me, Matthew, and Ivan for right now. Do you like Hello Kitty?"

"Aya! Of course I do! But you never told me your name, aru!" He said happily.

"It's Megan. Grab your stuff and follow me please." I said calmly as I led him down the hall.

I grabbed the handle to the white door at the end of the hallway and threw the door open.

"AYA! IT"S PERFECT!" Owch! My ears!

Of course I had designated this the girly room and painted the walls cotton candy blue with white polka dots everywhere.

I put an extra bed in there if I was ever to pass out in there. And I'd naturally filled the shelving units with old Hello Kitty things and laid my comforter with said kitty out amongst two large stuffed HK pillows.

"Enjoy. I'm going to go have a nap and try to figure out how to ambush a certain delivery service."

Somehow I don't he heard a word of what said.


	6. A not so special suprise

After an interesting dinner of chicken wrapped bacon and pork dumplings on rice, (Yao had been hell bent on thanking me with chinese food, I don't like chinese food..) I smiled and cleared the table.

"We need to pick up some more food before Friday. You are all coming with. No ifs, ands, or buts. I'll need cart pushers." I said as I put the dishes in the wash.

"Sunflower seeds too?" Ivan whined.

"That, maple syrup, ramen, pocky, green tea, and beef jerky. Plus some more fabric so I can make it through midterm fashion classes." I said as I turned to face them.

"You sound like Japan, aru!" Yao said in a fond yet repremanding tone.

"Yeah... well are you coming or not?" I said opening the door.

Each nation filed out onto the street. Each of the nations stared as I flipped the lock on my single car garage.

"I'm gonna pull the vehical out. Wait by the door." I warned. I shuffled through the garage and opened the door to back out my old car.

As I pulled my little white volkswagen out a green moving van pulled into the drive.

Shit...

_Hey! Drehmelwithwings here!_

_Who will be next on our road to insanity?_

**_I want my READERS to decide!_**

**_Will it be;_**

**_England,_**

**_America,_**

**_Spain,_**

**_Northern Italy,_**

**_France,_**

**_or Korea?_**

_Read and put your answers in your reveiw..._

**_I'll be waiting..._**


	7. Walmart is hell

Hello readers

I'd like to start off this chapter with the results of the reader's choice poll!

However, since I feel like being a horrid b# ! this time, You'll have to wait until the end to see the top five for the next five chapters.

Thank you for all of your reviews!

Welcome to my nightmare.

"God dammit! Where are they? Ivan was supposed to meet me at checkout 12 half an hour ago." I complained to Yao whilst dialing Matt's phone number.

My day had been one derived from the deepest pathways of hell.

Sam had delivered my new unit way too quickly for my liking, and I had left the unit, of which I had yet to set free from it's box, in the living room. Yao had helped me by gathering the measurements of fabric I'd needed, while Matthew had gone off to find Ivan. I however looked for decent quality groceries and ingredients for my home brew tea.

Matt picked up on the fourth ring and I sighed.

"Oh! Miss Drehmel! Thank goodness! Do you know where the gardening supplies are? Ivan's throwing a fit! And I can't find any sunflower seeds."

"You mean to tell me you've been searching for sunflower seeds for the past twenty minutes! Matthew, I told you guys in the car that i ordered the seeds online for in store pickup. I've already collected the seeds and all of the food supplies we needed. Meet Yao and I up at checkout 12." I said unhappily and Matthew's voice perked up.

"That's right! We'll meet you up there in a minute! Sorry for the trouble we caused!" A second later and he ended the call.

Checking out was fairly simple, and Ivan even apologized for his absence. The ride home was a quiet affair as well and my day from hell was slowly disappearing.

As the boy brought in and put away the mountains of food I'd bought, I slowly circled the box.

"Matt? Where'd Sam put that manual?" I asked as Canada sauntered in.

"He threw it into the smaller box." Matthew said pulling the thick manual from the little green box. He pales considerably and tosses the book away from him.

"I'm going to go take a nap! Have fun!" I catch the faintest glimpse of the cover as Matthew darts upstairs.

**FRANCIS BONNEFOIS: User Guide and Manual**

**Oh god no...**

******The poll results!**

**Top 5**

**1) France (GOD WHY!? T-T)**

**2)England :D**

**3)Spain (Ole~!)**

**4)Italy (PASTA~!)**

**5)Korea (Da-ze!)**

**Read and review!**


	8. C'est magnifique! NO IT IS NOT!

I"M BACK BABY!  
>Merry Flippin' Christmas!<span>

FRANCE. It had to be France.

Screw wanting England or maybe Spain. Hell, even America was better than this!

"Is everyone upstairs?" I asked Russia, and he nodded

"Go plant more sunflowers. I think I can handle this on my own. And it won't be pretty if I can't." I assured him and my childish unit wandered away. I was about to see if I could keep the french from invading my bed.

Russia had helped me lay the box onto the floor, so I used my crowbar to pry the lid off, and stared at my unit.

"Francis? Mister France." I said quietly as I reached out to touch his face. He didn't move so I gently rested my hand on his cheek.

Suddenly his eyes flew open, and a hand wrapped around the back of my neck. Seconds later he was kissing me passionately.

"MMMMMMM!MMMHHPHHHH!" I let loose a micro-scream muffled by the eager kiss. France didn't seem to notice my plea for freedom and my hand clenched around the crowbar on the floor.

Seconds later I was bringing the florescent pink metal down on his head.

"OW!" He shouted clutching his head.

"Mon amour! Did you not enjoy the kiss? Mon dieu, that hurt!" He had tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and I started crying.

"Mon Lapin! Desole! I did not mean to make you cry! Are you okay little one?" He cradled my head in his hands and thumbed the tears from my cheeks.

"You scared me! I was terrified! And then you kissed me!" I sobbed and France wrapped his arms around me protectively.

"Shhh...desole mon lapin. I'm sorry my little rabbit. I did not mean for you to be frightened. How can I make you feel better?"

"Hot chocolate would be nice..." I whimpered and Francis bolted upwards and headed to the kitchen. About a minute later he had a fresh mug of hot chocolate in hand and was giving it to me.

"Is that better? Is it too hot?" He asked and I sipped it. It was fantastic!

"It's fine Francis. I should get your room set up though. could you take the wooden crate out to Ivan in the backyard and then head upstairs and find me? Please?" He nodded and I picked up the smaller box, setting down the warm drink. Big brother mode was fine by me. He took his box outside and I headed upstairs.

Finding the room I'd designated for an old costume room I set France's box down. It was a decent sized room with a set of doors leading out to the Ivy and rose grown balcony. The bed held several handmade costumes I'd done for the men's theater about a year ago. I picked them up and stuffed them on hangers and into the closet. Then I set France's belongings on the much too girly rose bedspread. The cream and rose colored room would have to do for now.

"Oh my it's beautiful. I love it. Ce est magnifique!" He gushed and I nodded and headed for the door.

"Francis. Welcome home."

I'M BACK!  
>AND READY FOR MORE!<span>


	9. God save the Queen

Two Chapters tonight!

As a whole, Francis was being a saint. Matthew had helped with that, a lot.

When I was off taking care of classes and trying to pass textile courses, Matthew was cleaning the house and cooking for everyone.

While I was home he'd help me with school projects and sewing dresses together. All-in-all, he kept me sane.

As figured, Francis had gone into Big Brother mode when I'd started crying, and that had only lasted a week. Soon he was his usual perverted clingy self, and I had to keep my guard up. Matthew had helped with that as well. He'd kept Francis in line, rather than being meek and shy.

No matter how out of character it was, I was happy he was helping me.

Ivan didn't like Francis, but most of the time he was watering sunflowers, or hanging out with China, so it didn't seem to matter.

Midterms would be upon me in a week, and I'd started to relax into the daily routine of it all. That is, until a certain mint green truck pulled into my driveway.

"Sam! I thought you'd forgotten about us! How are you?" I called from the doorway and Sam gave me a wink.

"Not bad. I'd never forget about you though! I have your newest unit in the back. Want to meet him?" He prattled and I smirked.

"Well, why not?" I opened the door and he wheeled the box inside.

"I took the liberty of making sure you got a nicer unit than the last one. Corporate called to yell at me for that one." He said with a sheepish grin, handing me the manual.

"Sorry, about that. But he assaulted me! What was I supposed to do?" I asked and he nodded.

"Happens all the time. Don't worry about it. Have fun." Sam left and I stared at the box. Matthew smiled and handed me the manual.

**Arthur Kirkland: User Guide and Manual**

"Well, could've been worse. Matthew could you crack the lid open? I need to sing the Star-Spangled Banner."

YAY! England was always one of my favorites!

I will update again soon!

**_Drehmelwithwings _**


	10. An Old Classic

Well HOT-DAMN!

Three new chapter tonight!

When England yelled for me to 'TURN THAT HORRIBLE SONG OFF IMMEDIATELY!' I was a bit offended. But after Matt pulled the top off of his box, he seemed more than polite to me.

"My apologies miss, I thought you were an annoying friend of mine. My name is Arthur. Pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure of meeting you is really all mine Arthur." I choked out and he smiled kindly, "As it seems, you'll be living here from now on."

"Really? How lovely." Matt picked up Arthur's crate and I snatched up his other belongings.

"Come with me and we'll find you an nice room to stay in." Far away from France, and Russia.

"Very well then, lead on my dear." He encouraged and I led him upstairs. I chose the door closest to Matthew and the stairs and opened it to find all my old Renaissance fair stuff and my old doctor who collection. Bits of Harry Potter and Sherlock jammed onto shelves. The room was lined with a Sherlock wallpaper and had several spray-paint smiley faces added to enhance the look.

The bed was a smaller Queen size bed with a childhood Harry Potter comforter draped over it.

I immediately flushed in embarrassment and headed for the door when Arthur stopped me.

"Why this is amazing!" He gushed and I smiled. Of course! It must remind him of home!

"It's all yours." I said setting his box on the bed. He grinned from ear to ear and nodded heading to the shelf.

"Have you read all of these books?"

"Every last one. The Alice In Wonderland set is my favorite. Been reading those since I was small."

"Brilliant."

I left Arthur to dote on all of my worn down classical literature in peace, while pulling up my sketches for my book dress.

Tugging myself to my midterm project, I went downstairs and began to sew.

_Goodnight my readers._


	11. O' where for art thou Canada?

HI!

I don't quite remember when I passed out, or how much sewing I'd completed. I did however remember that I had several things to do today, and sleeping in the basement wasn't one of those things.

As I sat up I became even more confused.

I was in my bedroom, tucked in and warm. Checking myself over for France's 'bad touch' marks, and thankfully finding none, I saw a note on the bed side table.

_'Dear Megan,_

_ I found you snoring in the basement last night. Assuming you'd rather be warm and comfortable, I carried you to bed. Please don't worry about your project. I put it on one of your dress mannequins so it won't be tripped, or stepped on._

_ Sleep well,_

_Matthew Williams, Canada'_

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding in and smiled. Matt was just too good to me. Between the pancakes and stopping France from getting too hands on, he was just too nice.

I headed downstairs to see if I could find him and thank him for all his hard work, however someone else greeted me instead.

"Ah! 'ello miss! Are you feeling better? Matthew told me you passed out late last night and I was worried when you didn't wake up this morning for breakfast." Arthur chimed and I nodded.

"I'm doing fine, just a little more tired than usual. I have final projects to finish and very little time to do so." I replied walking past his seat on the couch. He smiled and nodded as he pawed his way through a beat up copy of, The Goblet of Fire.

I headed to the kitchen, dissapointed when all I saw was Francis. Before he could notice me I headed outside. Making my way to the backyard, I noticed Ivan and Yao smiling and pulling weeds. "Ivan, have you seen Matt?" I called and he shook his head.

'Where could he be?' I pondered walking up to the front yard to grab the mail. My gaze, however, caught a bright green van with a minty rabbit logo.

Oh, crap.


	12. YOU DID WHAT?

If I knew anything, I knew that van was trouble with a capital T.

I rushed towards the slightly ominous, though quite adorable, minty van.

"Sam! Is that you? Hey!" I yelled and Sam rolled the window down.

"Megan! How's it going?" He asked sheepishly. Something was off about him.

"Bad! Matt's missing and I know he wouldn't just dissapear! Have you seen him Sam?" Sam looked even more nervous and gave a half laugh.

"Well," He started and I glared daggers at him.

"Samuel Anthony Davids, If you did something to Matthew, and refuse to tell me I will not forgive you." He sighed.

"The company sent me to test a new product on a more integrated family's unit, and Matthew looked like the perfect test subject. So I gave him a dose of an experimental hormone-thing to see if it did what it was supposed to do."

"YOU WHAT!?" I shouted and he flinched.

"Hey! It's not like even wanted to do it! I asked for his permission and he said I could. Besides, it only lasts for about a week anyways."

"What only lasts for a week?" I prodded angrily.

"Bonjour Mademoiselle." A tiny voice said and I looked down to see a small child sitting in the seat of the delivery van.

"Matthew?" I stared at the platinum blonde, violet eyed child.

"The side effects." Sam said quietly.


	13. Don't call me that!

This was not happening...

I had to be asleep at my sewing machine again. Or snoring in bed. Lounging lethargically on the couch? Passed out on the dining room table?

But I had a feeling that struck deep in my head that none of those instances were the case.

Matthew was clinging to my shirt as Sam began apologizing profusely. Matt's eyes were tearing up, no doubt the confusion was upsetting him. I was at my wits end with all of this crap.

"Sam." He stopped mid-apology. I glared at him.

"Yeah?"

"If I see another new unit at my doorstep before Matt is put back to normal, I will personally hit you with my pink crowbar. Got it memorized?" I spoke calmly and Sam nodded so much that he looked like a bobble head.

"Now go home. Francis can help me with Matthew." He started up the van and drove off, leaving me with the chibi nation in my arms.

"Papa Francis will know what to do." I conceded and Matt smiled.

"Mama!" He said snuggling into my chest.

Oh come on!

My day just went from bad to adorably worse.


	14. Maybe the French aren't so bad

As it happens, adorably worse was the better part of the day.

Matt was quiet but when he wanted to make a fuss over something small he cried and puppy dog eyed people into doing as was asked. Francis was one hell of a translator, and Matthew seemed to love his presence dearly. Francis would pop up out of nowhere to comfort Matthew, going so far as to cook crepes and cuddle the small child, cooing at him in a french babble. He really seemed like a decent father.

Matt also seemed to have a fixation towards me. He liked being held while I'd rifle through my papers for designs. In addition, he seemed to absolutely love when I'd lay fabric out to cut. By the end of the day, he was in my arms snoring and clutching onto a yard of satin I'd initially cut for the back of one of my dress projects. I smiled and carried him to my room laying him down on the fluffy comforter and tucking him in. He held on to my shirt tightly and I sighed. I snuggled in beside him and hummed a lullaby.

As little Matt fell into a deeper sleep, I heard the door creak open. Turning slowly I saw Francis in the doorway. His face was framed by his bangs and the dim lighting. He looked so sad. Like it was his fault Matthew was like this. But it wasn't his fault, It was mine.

"He is so cute and small again, isn't he?" Francis asked and I nodded.

"I'm not sure I can take care of him. I'm not a mother. Hell, I hardly have any clue to how to take care of a child. But he needs me, y'know?" My voice cracked and I stared at him teary eyed. He sauntered over and kneeled at the edge of the bed.

"He trusts you. Matthieu was always a very cautious child, unlike Alfred. If he trusts you, that means that he believes in you. So try to believe in yourself a little, ok? Be strong for him." I hadn't noticed before, but Francis was crying too. He placed his hand over mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'll take care of him tomorrow so you can get some work done. I know you have very little time left to work on that project of yours." He said quietly and I smiled.

"Merci Francis."


	15. Timing and it's troubles

The next day was better. True to his word, France woke Matthew and I in the early morning, telling Matt that I had a ton of work and that he and 'Papa Francis' were going to go run a few errands.

Matthew put up protest, but when Francis explained that the items they were going out to pick up would help me finish my dresses, Matt agreed to go. I gave France a list of items, about two hundred bucks, and an extended, "Thank you so much, (please try to stay out as late as seven), have fun!". France and Matt headed to catch the bus.

I headed back to work on my dresses. My theme for the final project was books. So, naturally, one of the dresses looked like pages of books ripped out and sewn together into a Victorian-esque dress. The second dress of the set was made of thrown out hard covers, layered over each other in a patchwork type of quality. I'd repainted the words on the covers with gold paint. The final dress was made from dust covers of classic literature printed on fabric and sewn into an a-line dress with a sweetheart neckline.

As I reviewed my sketches and finished up the necessary sewing I thought about what France had told me. He'd raised Matthew by himself for a long time, he knew this Matt better than I did. Maybe he was right. I did need to believe in myself a bit more.

I sighed and started picking pieces to accent the dresses for our runway show on Saturday. I could ooze self confidence in my designs and my work, but I wasn't really confident in myself at all.

I hadn't noticed how late it had gotten until my phone rang. Flipping it open I noticed it was eight, and something dropped in my stomach.

"Hello?" I said fearing the worst.

"Megan! Oh mon Dieu! Thank god! I need you to come pick Matthieu and I up! We missed the last bus and we're stuck at Zilker park, I think. Someone said we were near a Barton spring. I missed the schedule change and Its freezing out. Matthieu is even starting to shiver. Please hurry!" Francis sounded chilled and I could hear Matt sniffling in the background.

"I'll be there soon Francis. Try to find a place to warm up, I'm on my way." I reassured and hung up. Texas was cold at night. I pulled a light jacket on over my pajamas and headed to my little green bug. The other units gave me looks as I opened the door and I sighed.

"Francis and Matthew missed the bus. I'll be back in a half hour. Don't burn the house down." I said tiredly as I shut the door.

This was going to be fun.


	16. Bed time already?

Matt cried and hugged me when I stepped out of the bug to help France with the bags. I hauled him up by his arms and set him in the warm car. I even shrugged out of my jacket and wrapped it around him to keep him warm. I then loaded the bags into the trunk and opened the door for Francis.

Cranking the heat up and making sure both were warm I sighed heavily.

"So what have we learned?" I asked in a motherly, I told you so, way.

"Next time, I'll double check the bus schedule." Francis groaned.

"Ahhhhhh, no. Next time, I'll run errands myself. I'm not trusting you and public transportation ever again. Mattie was shivering, and you looked like you were going to freeze! Next time, I drive." I retorted and he smirked.

"Tu parles comme une mère." He said with a laugh and I punched his shoulder.

"I have no idea what you said, but I have a feeling you're mocking me, am I wrong?" I growled and Francis put his hands up in defense.

"I only said that I was very grateful! Nothing more." He said and I sighed. From the back I could hear Matt snoring softly.

"Did he have a nice day? I mean, y'know, running errands?"

"He missed you. But he was really happy he could help you pass your classes. He just wanted to see 'mama' smile." Francis' voice was soft and seemed to be much kinder at this revelation.

"He's such a kind child. If I had to have a kid, he'd be the one I'd want." I admitted and France nodded.

"He was always like this. I wish I'd been there to see him grow up a bit more, but I had my own troubles during that time. Then, Arthur snatched him away. It broke my heart. I'm almost too happy that he's small again. It's like having another chance at raising him." I didn't know what to say to that so I became silent and we drove home in that silence.

When we made it back home I carried Matt inside and Francis grabbed the bags. I brought Matt up to my room once again and tucked him in. I tossed the jacket onto the floor and then grabbed a new set of pajamas to settle into. Making sure Matt was asleep I headed downstairs and rummaged through the items I'd requested. Picking out the embellishments I headed to the basement and started adding the last touches to the dresses. After about ten minutes, I decided I'd finished the projects and I was ready to head to sleep myself.

Passing Yao and Ivan, who were snuggled together on the couch, I gave them both a sleepy, "G'night," and headed back to my warm bed.

Little Mattie curled into my side as soon as I snuggled in, and somewhere along in the night, a fully clothed Francis cuddled in behind me.


	17. BIG TO small, and BACK AGAIN

I don't remember when Francis got into the bed, but the covers soon became unbearably warm. I had to kick them off in the night.

I don't remember when Mattie got big again, but I remember being pulled into someone's chest and cuddled like a teddy bear.

I remember how Sam had given me clothing for the smaller version of my sweet Canadian.

But, I simply can't remember when he suddenly didn't fit into anything but the too big boxers that Sam had tossed into the mix.

I shifted when I woke up, dimly aware that there were two sources of heat at my sides. Was Mattie running a fever? I went to sit up, but two sets of arms held me in place. They were both adult sized and only one set was covered in fabric.

"Francis. Get you arms off of me." I growled and the set of covered arms slunk away from my waist. I turned my head to see that the other pair belonged to a very lean, well toned, half naked Canadian. I pushed Francis out of bed and nearly scrambled out it myself at the sight of the full grown Matthew.

"Matt! Holy hell. Oh my god." My face was tomato red, and Francis stood to see his half-naked son with his arms curled around my waist.

"Maple?" He half-managed and turned his head to look at me, eyes widening as he realized where his arms were, and how exposed he was.

He pulled his arms back and stared at me before turning redder than I had previously thought physically possible. "Please tell me didn't do anything."

I stared wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Then I snapped out of it. This was cute and innocent Mattie for god's sake!

"You didn't do anything. In fact, before I fell asleep you were like twelve. How did you?" I asked and he gave me a questioning glance.

"I don't know. I remember talking to Sam about something. Then I woke up to you yelling at me. I'm still confused." He said and I barely nodded in mutual confusion.

Suddenly my phone went off from the nightstand. Matt handed it to me and I answered it.

"Yo, this is Megan."

"Hey Drehmel! Just wanted to give you a heads up! Fashion show's tonight at nine. Don't be late!" Rena's voice chirped off and I sighed.

"I'll be there. Thanks." I snapped my phone shut and made my way off the bed.

"Matthew," I called and he stared at me,"Don't worry about what happened. I'm just glad you're back."

"Are you sure?" He asked and I nodded.

It was a lot more than that, but he didn't need to know that just yet.


End file.
